Great moments in animation...sort of

Great Moments in Gaming – go kill ten fairies. Like you, I am a resident of several virtual worlds. As time passes, the names of those virtual worlds change. The first was called “Brittania” thereafter there followed names like Azeroth, Eden (Eve Online) and a few instances of post apocalyptic Earth. There are times in my travels that I stop amongst the gaming to appreciate a moment, whether that moment is to admire the view (even if that view is the shattered capitol building) or laugh at a sense of humor. Over the years some of the best times in gaming have been when the humor of developers has come shining through in unexpected places. For example, long before there was even an “outland” in World of Warcraft, an npc vendor (still located just outside the Chapel of Light in Eastern Plague lands) turned to me and said “I should of taken the blue pill” (a reference to the movie called “The Matrix” of course). Sometimes the references developers put in games are a bit more obtuse, but no less funny if you get the reference.

Some of you may have seen the movie from 1977 called “Wizards”. In that movie, about two wizard brothers, the following dialogue takes place.

Max: Fritz! Fritz, get up for God’s sake! Get up! They’ve killed Fritz! They’ve killed Fritz! Those lousy stinking yellow fairies! Those horrible atrocity-filled vermin! Those despicable animal warmongers! They’ve killed Fritz! Take that! Take this! Take that, you green slime! You black hearted, short, bow-legged…

Fritz: Max! Max, I’m okay! I’m okay max. Just a scratch. Look I’m all right.

Max: Oh, Oh. There you go again, stepping on my lines, raining on my parade, costing me medals…

[Accidentally shoots Fritz]

Max: Oh. Oh, Fritz? Fritz, get up for God’s sake! Get up! They’ve killed Fritz! They’ve killed Fritz! Those lousy stinking yellow fairies! Those horrible atrocity-filled vermin! Take that! Take that! They killed Fritz!

Great moments in gaming - well at least funny ones

Back when I played Everquest 2 (where I would still be if my Australian “mates” still played the game) I decided to take my Arasi Necromancer (sort of a really wicked fairy character) to what is called “The Enchanted Lands”. I arrived on the docks and encountered a hobbit…er…Halfling named…Gubbo Chaley. His quest? Go kill 10 fairies. One look at the picture will tell both the reason for the quest and the reference that the game dev was making. As in the movie, in this case it turned out that Fritz is very much alive and simply underneath the docks.

But there comes a time when I get tired of fairies (or anything with wings that that don’t also have air to air missiles fitted under them) or wizards with wands and I just want to take a shot gun and shoot the bad guy in the face. This situation is, of course, exacerbated by the fact that my once great beast master hunter in World of Warcraft (who has been around since the days when honor bought a title and was not used for currency) has been nerfed right down to the ground. Did I say nerfed to the ground? I mean the Blizzard devs dug a whole, told my beast master hunter to jump in, covered the whole with dingo dung and told me to eat my way out. And, based on the comments of the community manager (who I believe is still Ghostcrawler) that situation is not likely to change any time before the second coming of our Lord (which, granted, could be tomorrow for all I know but the point is made)

Fortunately, there are a few mmos out there without fairies or bunnies dancing with toilet paper. Fortunately there is at least one mmo that hands you the shotgun and point you in the direction of the zombies…

Julie has been doing alot of cloning lately

With no apologies whatsoever to Stephen Soundheim Bring in the clones

Isn’t it rich? Are we an exact pair?

Me out of hit points here on the ground

You cloned by life Lifenet right over there.

Send in the clones.

Whenever I’ve stopped

And I’ve hit the floors,

Finally knowing The clone that I am is yours,

Making my entrance again and again,

With my usual flair,

Sure of my DNA lines

My clone is there.

 One of the many things I appreciate about any game world is when the devs take some time to put more “virtual world” in their “game world”. For those of you who may be a new reader, or missed our interview with Dr. Richard Bartle, a virtual world is more social, like a world you live in, and a game world is more of a directed or choreographed world that is planned out for you – where a game is played. Even better is when I can find devs that will give me a bit of both “virtual world” and humor.

Whenever I first log on to Fallen Earth, like many other games I am greeted by a new tip. If a game is new (or at least new to me) those tips can be very useful. Even more entertaining are the well pointed barbs the devs at Icarus Studios took at fantasy themed games, such as the first three tips below:

I

Tip: While you cannot harvest humans in Fallen Earth you can really creep people out by asking about it.

Tip: If you meet someone role playing a paladin just don’t talk to him.

Tip: There are no elves in Fallen Earth. If you see one, kill it.

Tip: If some offers to trade $20 for 10 gold you are playing the wrong game.

Tip: Did you’re untimely death leave your mount to fend for itself? Save yourself a long walk – tow it at your local garage.

Tip: Gunpowder is made using the science skill, ammunition using ballistics.

The last three tips reflect on putting a bit more virtual world back in the game world. I appreciate, for example, any game where gold doesn’t flow in rivers so wide that it tends to create the virtual equivalent of a toilet seat that sells for $600 dollars and a wrench that sells for $200 dollars. In Fallout 3, for example, the unit of currency is the bottle cap. In Fallen Earth the unit of currency is equally ubiquitous in everyday life (at least in some corners of the globe) and that is the poker chip. As a side note, on show number 48 (which is finally done and has been uploaded …yay!) Colin Dwan, the Fallen Earth project manager points out that Icarus Studios knew their game had made it when they saw the first “chip sites” (i.e. gold sellers) open up. I think it is interesting to note that instead of simply hitting players who bought chips with the ban stick they allowed them to come back (presumably after a punitive measure or two).

“Did an untimely death leave your mount to fend for itself? Save yourself a long walk – tow it at your local garage”

This tip brings up several points, not the least of which are reviewers (including those who laud themselves as “professionals”) who play a given game for 10 minutes and feel they have grasped all they need to know…and then proceed to regale us all with misinformation. One such recent reviewer told his readers that if you die in Fallen Earth you have to run back to your horse each time. The truth is, of course, only he had to because he didn’t bother to learn to play the game before he wrote the review. Truth be told, near most “respawn” points is a garage which, for a low, low price of five chips, will bring your horse to you.

Now why do things this way, you might ask? Well I can only surmise at this point (I didn’t think to ask Colin when he was on the show last). I will speculate on the matter and say that a virtual world where your horse simply stands around when you get off of it is a touch of realism – and I appreciate greatly.

“Gunpowder is made using the science skill, ammunition using ballistics”

How often have we all seen movies where the bad guy seems to have a “bazillion shooter” that never seems to run out of ammunition? Even in games like Fallout 3 ammunition is found in the oddest places – why would it be hiding on a shelf in a grocery store or in a garbage can at a school? In Fallen Earth, if you want to go around blasting the zombies “willy nilly” most of the time you have to make your own ammunition. It is sometimes a bit of a pain, but in the end, it makes being able to go in to a bunker hunting mutants, both guns blazing, feel like more of an accomplishment.

And best of all, is the concept that I have yet to see anywhere else (yes except for Eve Online as pointed out in the comments below) and that is the explanation of character death (as reflected by our two furry friends above). In Lord of the Rings Online you simply “loose morale” and have to “retreat”. Most other fantasy games like Wow and War you “resurrect” some place. In Fallen Earth things are a bit more elaborate and part of the fabric of the game. That nifty clone collar on your neck (so the lore reflects) sends all of your memories back to a computer named “Life Net”. If you die, your clone respawns in a cloning chamber and as the old adage goes, “where ever you go, there you are.” This also becomes part of a major quest line in the game resulting, at one point, in a conflict between two sentient computers – a conflict in which the player becomes immersed.

This of course, leaves open for debate (at least within the realm of fiction) that which Dr. McCoy once brought up on the original Star Trek series. If a teleporter sends your molecules across space, when you reappear on the other end is it really you? However, we will save that debate for another time. In the mean time…

See you online,

The No Prisoners, No Mercy team.

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