Let’s talk about Blizzard – after all, just about everyone is today.  But let’s not start where everyone else does. No, let’s start with pugs. Not those cute little dogs with turned up noses and a sweet disposition. Instead let’s talk about the kind of pug that has 10 legs, averages six feet tall and has a nasty disposition.  That sounds like one heck of a beast doesn’t it?  And let me tell you, these days when I run an instance with a “pick up group” (PUG) they DO have one nasty disposition.

Julie has a rule. She never groups with anyone outside of her guild (No, Julie hasn’t suddenly start talking about herself in the third person, this is Fran). Now you may think that having a rule about not running with anyone outside the guild is an imposition, but considering the gaming group we belong to has 14,000 members that’s not all the big of a hardship. What has started to become a hardship, is running an instance with a pick up group (pug).  Now, as many of you who listen to our show know, my game of choice is World of Warcraft, so that is the context here.

Having finally reached level 80 on my Troll priest I assumed that filling half of the oft heard “looking for healer, looking for tank” would put me on a pedestal when it came to running an instance, especially a heroic instance. These days, however, that appears not to be the case…

Sherman set the wayback machine for 2 nights ago. The setting is right after our instance wiped because the Tank took off on his own, and ran out of range of the person keeping him alive – ME!

Tank:    “Way to go priest, how long do we have to carry you?”

Me:      “You’re carrying me? And here I thought you had your hands full with just being the tank.”

Tank:    “What?”

Me:      “Well you must be quite the player who can tank, heal himself and the entire party at the same time. Wow, talk about an ‘army of one’! You really ARE an army of one. With that sort of talent all the rest of are sort of extraneous aren’t we?”

Tank:     “Did you buy your character? Why did you let me die?”

Me:       “Is it my fault you decided to tank a Northrend Instance by way of Tanaris desert? Next time you might want to at least stay close enough so I can see you with a telescope.”

(The boss is looted and cloth armor with a healing bonus drops. I roll need)

Tank:    “What you doing? Why did you roll need?”

Me:       “We started with need or greed loot rules. I’m the only class here who wears cloth armor, and the only healing class. What’s the problem?”

Tank:     “I wanted to roll on it. Listen homie, we don’t roll need on blue items here.”

            (long pause)

Me:       Did you just call me “homie”? That strikes me as being a little like Pee Wee Herman calling Will Smith homie”

Tank:     What if I wanted the gear?

Me:      “Cloth healing gear? Too bad it’s bind on pick up, otherwise I would give it to you – as a protection spec’s fighter you make a great healer.”

And that’s why THIS “homie” doesn’t like pugs either…

Now let’s turn from pugs to pets – not the four legged kind, the cute cuddly furry kind (although the first two pets in question only have four legs between them). Here is the quote of the day that has so many people up in arms:

“Today we’re pleased to introduce the Pet Store for World of Warcraft, a new way for players to obtain in-game pets to join them on their adventures in Azeroth. Two brand-new companions are now available for purchase exclusively at the Pet Store in the online Blizzard Store: Lil’ K.T. and the Pandaren Monk.”  – Blizzard poster, Nethaera (available here)

Whether or not the 800 pound Blizzard Gorilla gets it’s big furry behind kicked out of China, I can’t say. However, Bobby Kotick (Director of Activision/Blizzard) doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who takes even the slightest chance that there will be the words “fourth quarter loss” in a financial report.  As anyone who knows business will tell you (and even if he isn’t a gamer Mr. Kotick knows business) if an investor sees the word “loss” in a financial report, it won’t matter if it is followed by a profit and loss statement that reports a net profit the size of the gross national product for an entire nation. All they will see is the word “loss” and, especially in today’s economic climate, will run around screaming “all is lost, all is lost.”

I have noticed that Blizzard has tried to soften the blow to the egos of its more suspicious consumers with the following:

“For every Pandaren Monk that finds its way to a player’s side between now and the end of the year (December 31, 2009 at 11:59 PDT), we’ll donate 50 percent of the $10 purchasing price to the Make-a-Wish Foundation in an effort to brew up a little hope, strength, and joy in a child’s life.” – ibid

Now it is unlikely that the Blizzard Gorilla will be swinging high forever. Still, no matter how many bloggers and columnists are upset about the opening of a new virtual pet store, the chances are that nay sayers will have about as much effect as the “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2” boycott!  Go ahead and tell me that you won’t be there to at least check out the “Cataclysm” expansion because of a micro-transaction or two – I will know it’s a lie!

Bless you all,

Fran