Dear House GOP,
I have been playing alot of Minecraft these last two weeks and I wanted to thank you for the time to do so – after all it’s a great game isn’t it? But while I am having fun in my cubists dream I thought I would drop you a note because I understand things have been getting tough for you there in D.C. Word is that seventy two percent of Americans don’t like the way you do business. Still, buck up butter cup! If it weren’t for all the other guys you work with on both sides of the isle the approval rating for Congress would be a lot higher than five percent.
And only sixty percent of Americans want to “throw the bums out” - all of you.
After all you are skating by on just $174,000.00 per year but at least you still get paid during the shut down of the United States Governement. At least they (whoever “they” is because it certainly isn’t the rest of the 800,000 federal workers you sent home without pay)…at least they kept the gym open for you during the shut down so you can keep your strength up for all that hard work that you…well…aren’t doing. Still, if you aren’t considered essential to government operations who is? You did see to it that the military got paid during the shut down because only an insane person wouldn’t pay people like Navy Seals, Airborne Rangers who spend their days guarding you while you…um…don’t work. But why worry about death benefits for fallen soldiers during the shut down, they are already dead right?
Oh and a word of caution here.
You know those men and women in blue? The Capitol police who protect you every day? Well they are working without pay right now.
Isn’t that nice of them? Still, they can’t work forever without pay can they. Ultimately, as grandmother used to say, the shit will hit the proverbial fan. It’s a good thing you are hard at work…well…there in the halls of Congress. After all, with Air Traffic Controllers working without pay as well travel is going to go from bad to worse. You also might want to keep an eye on your documents during the shut down since those people you sent home without pay include the Central Intelligence Agency, National Security Agency and Defense Intelligence Agency.
At least you have a voice of reason in Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid! He certainly has the right of it when he points out that paying 800,000 Federal employess for missing work while you…um…don’t work is like giving them a paid vacation! After all I would only blow it on things like health care for a family member with diabetes, keeping the power on and the gas heat going. Oh and food. I would also blow the money on food but Federal works are a fat lot as it is aren’t they?
But you know that $174,000.00 plus you get paid per year? You might want to start saving most of it now. As we all know, your term in office is up next year on November 4, 2014. And all those Federal contractors, employees, police and widows? You will have to ask them to keep your job – and with an approval rating of five percent for congress? Well lets up you have other job skills. If not….I hope you like Minecraft.